The Question That Stopped Me Visiting

It was supposed to be a routine check-up. I sat nervously in the clinic, waiting for my turn. When I finally walked in, the nurse looked up and asked a question that seemed harmless, even standard: “Are you sexually active?”

I froze. I wasn’t sure how to answer. I wasn’t married, and I grew up in a culture where that question carried layers of judgment. My silence filled the room. The nurse, impatient, ticked a box and moved on. But I never went back.

One question—phrased without empathy—was enough to close the door to care.

For many women, it’s not the diagnosis that keeps us away from clinics, but the discomfort of the process itself. The way questions are asked. The way assumptions are made. A raised eyebrow. A dismissive tone. A joke that wasn’t funny.

“Last period?” “How many partners?” “Why aren’t you pregnant yet?” These are standard questions, yes, but the way they’re framed often forgets the human sitting behind them. And when a woman feels judged, dismissed, or exposed, she may choose avoidance over care.

The tragedy is that avoidance costs more in the long run. Skipped screenings mean delayed detection. Silence means small symptoms snowball into bigger problems. Health becomes another casualty of shame.

What if questions could be asked differently? What if instead of “Are you sexually active?” a practitioner asked, “Would you like me to record any sexual health considerations that may affect your care?” What if instead of “Why aren’t you pregnant yet?” they asked, “Do you want to discuss fertility goals?”

At SilentConvo, we believe words matter. Our platform exists to give women language that feels safe—so that by the time they walk into a clinic, they already know how to describe their experiences in a way that feels honest but not intimidating.

Because the truth is, many women don’t stop visiting because they don’t care. They stop because care didn’t feel like care at all.

And sometimes, all it takes is one poorly framed question to lose someone’s trust. Let’s not make women pay that price anymore.