The Years I Lost to “Just Stress”

“You’re probably just stressed.”

It was the phrase that followed me for years. When I couldn’t sleep, when my cycles became erratic, when my hair fell out in clumps, when migraines left me in darkened rooms—I heard the same explanation. Stress. Exams. Work. Life. Surely nothing more.

I wanted to believe it. Stress is easy to swallow. It made me feel like if I just powered through—rested better, ate cleaner, meditated more—things would resolve. But the truth was, stress became a convenient box my symptoms were stuffed into. And over time, I lost years to that box.

What I didn’t know then is that many women live this same story. We are told our symptoms are vague, overblown, or exaggerated. A survey of women with endometriosis shows they wait an average of 7 years for a diagnosis. Thyroid conditions, PCOS, even perimenopause are often missed because “stress” becomes the catch-all explanation.

Of course, stress is real. It can and does impact health. But when it becomes the lazy default, it stops doctors—and us—from digging deeper. Every month I lost to “just stress” was a month where my body’s real messages went unheard.

Looking back, I realise the cost wasn’t only physical. It was emotional. I doubted myself. I learned to silence my instincts. I internalised the idea that maybe I was just too sensitive, too dramatic, too weak.

Imagine what it would mean if we could see symptoms differently. If instead of brushing them off, we logged them, tracked them, and noticed patterns across time. “Stress” might still be part of the picture—but it wouldn’t erase the rest of the canvas.

This is what SilentConvo aims to build: a way for women to document their lived experiences so that the years aren’t lost to dismissal. So that the next time someone says “it’s just stress,” you have data to say: “Actually, it’s been consistent for six months, and it flares mid-cycle. Let’s look again.”

The years I lost can’t be reclaimed. But maybe the years ahead—for all of us—don’t have to be wasted the same way.